Chapter 8 – Mark Quinn

Then I met Mark Quinn, online – or rather Mark started commenting on some of my posts on social media. I asked him if he knew this Mark Quinn, he said NO, and he was as surprised as I am, why would a random person just start sending messages? I saw Mark Quinn followed some of my friends on social media, and thought “OK, someone knows him”
I spoke to one of my photographer friends about him, and she said that she does not know him, but he sent her a message to request a shoot for when he is in JHB.

Mark and I started to chat online and he tells me about his life, he is married, lives in Cape Town, travels a lot for work, he is a photographer and have no children. His wife had three miscarriages and now they are going the IVF route. We talked in detail about how tough that can be on your marriage because, well, I can relate.

Mark encourages me to talk about my life, I am hesitant but eventually reveal that my husband had an affair, that we are seeing a marriage counsellor and trying to work it out.
I share some of the physical abuse, but not in detail, I’m ashamed.
We talk about how I feel about his “whore”. I was completely honest with Mark, it just felt so much easier to talk to a stranger, no judgments.
I tell Mark what I would do, should I ever come face to face with her, and I said that I would drive over her many times, Mark said that was a bit harsh, I disagreed but still, I felt she deserved it.

The communications come to a halt for a few weeks and then suddenly I get a message from him saying the IVF worked, his wife is pregnant. He sends a sonar picture and says how happy and sad he is at the same time.
He just found out that the child might not be his, his wife asked for a divorce, she’s been having an affair. How relatable is this?
I feel devastated for Mark, after all these years trying for a child only to find out that it might not be yours, what a horrible person his wife is, I think.

Mark tells me he has accepted his wife moving on, and he found a book called “Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood” and even though the book was written for women, he found it helped him in many ways to let go. He encouraged me to download the book,it cant hurt right?
I downloaded the book and it’s about how to unlock all the love and tenderness in your man, basically taking you back to the 1950’s, what a load of shit.

I can’t remember when, but my last chat with Mark Quinn did not feel good. I felt something was off and mentioned it to my friend at work who immediately questioned how coincidental our lives seem to be.

She suggests it’s my husband. No, why would he do something like this? What would his objective be? What would he achieve?
I never forced him to stay, I said many times “there is the door, leave” So why would he do something like this?
This plays over and over in my head – what if it is him? What if Mark Quinn is my husband?

I believed my husband has made many mistakes and is trying to correct those, but I refused to believe that he could be Mark Quinn, it just seemed to far fetched and horrible.

Needless to say, I blocked Mark Quinn and that was the end of this unusual, although fruitful, episode, or so I thought.