Chapter 7 – The Evidence Part 2
The following week I found credit card statements and it revealed information that was impossible to misinterpret, it’s there, black and white, on paper.
I was in the bedroom looking at the statements again thinking if I should ask him. I decided to do it. So I stood in front of him while he was watching TV — bold as I could be — and handed him the statement with specific transactions highlighted and said that I wanted an explanation for the movie tickets, meals, clothing, bags, and other repeat payments that could only be for two.
With no hesitation he tried to justify it and said that the bank had made errors. I refused to listen to that explanation and this made him angry. I walked to the bedroom and before I knew it, he was in my face, shouting “Why can’t you fucking leave things alone, why must you always go look for something?” Before I could even answer I was on the bed with him on top of me. I knew what was coming and fought back, or tried to, my arms pinned down with his knees. I could feel his rage as he wrapped his hands around my neck. All I thought was, this would be over soon, he would let go, and eventually he did. Then the begging of forgiveness would start and we would do it all again until the next time.
The 24th of March marked our 10th wedding anniversary. What an achievement, Right? He says we should do something, take the day off from work, we should celebrate this achievement, we are working through so much, and we deserve to celebrate it. Our marriage counsellor agrees we should celebrate it. He gave me a beautiful pair of tanzanite studs, in white gold, he left the receipt in the bag to show me exactly how expensive it was. I didn’t get him anything. I felt bad, and a few days later got him something.
To date, I wore those earrings 3 times. We decided to do Acrobranching / Zip lining in the James and Ethel Grey Park in Melrose, it was a fun day, we went for drinks the evening and met up with his best friend, it almost felt that all could be forgiven. Almost.
When the night was over his friend gave me the tightest hug that I have ever experienced and I knew, he knew what is going on. On our way home I asked him if he shared with anyone what is happening between us, besides the therapist, has he shared with his best friend? NO. He does not talk about our problems
A few weeks later the bromance came to an abrupt end, his version — his friend is so consumed with his new girlfriend that she is turning him into something he is not. A few months later I found out that his friend ended their years of friendship because he knew what he was doing and wanted no part in it. I don’t think his friend knew the level of abuse, but he knew about the “side bitch”
At this point, I still believed him (crazy right), even though the evidence showed something different. I had two voices in my head, the one said “he is lying, investigate more” the other said “leave it alone, you will get hurt again”
I chose to go with the one my gut told me to, and I started investigating, and got beaten more times than ever.