Chapter 7 – The Evidence Part 1
I knew without a doubt that he was not alone during the December holidays. On the 6th March 2017, I found an email dated 27 January 2017 – about what HIS deal breaker was to her, and it was LYING. Wait, What? The exchanges between the two of them ended in her apologizing, for lying I suppose.
I contrived to get into his cell phone statements, and she constantly changed her cell number. But these messages, I had him, I had to show him.
This altercation would give me my first experience with his brute strength, I mean he does lift weights constantly. It was different from just being pushed around. He was not home when I found the email and I sent it to him via text. As he walked through the door he started to explain, I listened, but said I don’t care if it’s the truth, he should leave; he laughed. I was in the kitchen, and he was standing on the opposite side of the dining room and before I knew it he came at me; in a panic, I threw a knife at him. I couldn’t run. He grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to the couch.
The next thing his knees were placed on my arms and I couldn’t move, he held my head still with the left hand and took off my spectacles carefully. This technique, for the next year or so, would be his way to shut me up, choking and strangling became his routine, he choked me until I cried and gasped for air.
I can’t remember if he let me go, or if I managed to get away, but I ran screaming, I got as far as the garage when he caught me, by my hair again, trying to calm me down, by hugging me tight, telling me I am making myself crazy, that I am making myself miserable.
He said I look for things and misinterpret what I find. That’s the behaviour of a crazy person. Do you want people to think you are mad? He would ask. After a flood of tears, he tells me he is sorry, he didn’t mean to hurt me, he is not sure what happened, but it will never happen again. “You know I will never hurt you, but you keep on looking for stuff, you are making me do this. Do you want me to hurt you? Do you think it’s nice for me to see you this way?” he used to say.
What the fuck just happened? Is he blaming me for asking questions? Maybe I should believe him? Why would he get so upset if he is not telling the truth? I should stop investigating. I always tried to convince myself to stop acting crazy. He skipped gym that night because he felt so bad about what happened. All was forgiven AGAIN because I believed him; he said that it won’t happen, again. But it did, many times, and much worse than the first time. When he was done he went to sleep in the car, I suppose giving your wife a hiding exhausts you? I didn’t sleep that night as I continued with my online investigations.
I had bruises all over my arms and legs so I decided to stay at home the next day as I felt ashamed to answer if someone had to ask. What will my colleagues think? This opinionated woman at the office, that loves debating anything with anyone, that is perceived to be so tough, gets beaten up by her husband (which everyone knows and likes) because she’s asking for the truth.
Imagine.
The next morning it was the routine-begging-for-forgiveness story. He got ready for work and again started making all these promises, talking about how bad he felt. It will never happen again; I should stop making him hurt me. We should just move on, he is trying to make me trust him again, but this is how I BEHAVE. He showed me texts that he sent to her to tell her that she should leave him alone and that he wants to make his marriage work.