Chapter 12 – Tracking The Divorce
Two days later I filed for divorce and asked him to move out. He wasn’t upset that I said I filed for divorce, he was angry that I stood my ground and made it clear he should pack his things and leave NOW. He left. Eventually.
He sent me a message to say: thank you for putting me out now have to sleep on the street. I replied: you don’t need to sleep on the street, go to your whore.
I should not have said that. He was livid that I called her a whore and sent me a voice note that still makes me cringe. He screams You fucking bitch, I will come back now and fucking kill you, you better call the police, you’ll see what I do to you.
He came back but did not carry out his threat, instead, he begged to come back, said he was not with her no more. It was that same old thing he did after we argue, or after he beats me, it was tiring.
All I wanted was for this man to leave.
On the 5th of February 2018, I announced to my family and friends that I initiated a divorce, but still, I add the white lie and say it’s amicable and we grew apart. I finally move out. New beginnings I think, I have moved out, started divorce proceedings, and I thought its smooth sailing from here on out.
I moved into a two-bedroom place on the first of March, and while it was not as big or cozy, it was a new place, a new home, and a new beginning.
But he helped me, I mean us, move. Whether it was moving furniture or putting up curtains, he was handy. While doing all this he kept on apologizing, I think he sensed that this was it, that I was serious.
After the move he comes around often, to see his son of course, and to check up on me. Am I okay?, what do I need? He was more than helpful. I gave him access to our new place just so that he can see my son whenever he wants. I must admit I had my doubts, did I do the right thing?
I start enjoying this new life, even though he is in it, there’s no fear of being choked or being in an argument.
He requests that I tell him when I move on, with another man that is. He will do the same. Yes, finally he is being honest, he wants us to set boundaries.
Its April and things are going smooth, that is until I damage the side of my car. so mister comes to the rescue.
He takes the car to the panel beaters and tells me it will take a month for the car to be fixed. He even pays for the damages, I’m impressed, and question why I left him.
He still visits and checks in and everything is good. I’m happy, he is happy and so is our son. Again I have no doubts about leaving him but I dismiss that and get back in the dating scene.
This new relationship is not serious, so I don’t tell him as it does not interfere with the schedule he has with our son, and he doesn’t need to know.
However, one night he ‘sees’ a message from this new guy and starts interrogating me about this person. I tell him it’s someone I met at the gym and that it’s not serious yet.
I’m not sure if I should have told him but after that, he constantly called, sent messages, cute memes, and apologetic poems.
He confessed that he realized the error of his ways and that he wants me back, he wants us back. I feel sorry for him but I cannot, I will not go back to something and someone that was so damaging.
His confessions go on for a while, love, regret, another chance, I heard and saw it all, this man was obsessed, desperate some would say. I couldn’t though.
Seeing how I reacted and rejected him hurt him, I think. But he would not stop.
The pleasant messages became less, and I’m seeing this new guy more.
Mister though lets me know on odd times that he knows where I am, and I am puzzled. Did someone see me at this restaurant, at this mall, with the new guy? It’s suspicious that he messages when I am out and knows exactly where I am.
It goes on for a few weeks and I say to a friend that I think he has a tracker on me, either through my phone number or my car. She says I’m crazy but I am convinced that he has done something to know my whereabouts.
Although I’m happy, he won’t let go, and although I feel free, there is a trap of some sort, but what exactly I don’t know. Yet I do know that I’ve moved on.