Chapter 13 – The Tracker
Everyone I shared my concerns with said I am crazy. Why would he go to that level and put a tracker in the car, that sounded too far fetched, he is not a psycho right? I made plans for supper with the guy I am sort of seeing, and tell him I have to go away for work, will be back the next day. At 6 pm he calls me to ask me where I am, I lie. He asked me “what are you busy with?” he sends me a picture of the complex next to where I was having supper, thinking I am with someone in that complex. Then I knew for certain he is tracking something. I was certain it was my phone. I immediately switched my phone off, sent the picture to one of my friends, and decided to not drive anywhere, in the fear of him still waiting for me. And I checked into a nearby hotel for the night.
The next morning, I called him to speak to my son, he refused. He then called back, not to apologize or give an explanation of what’s going on, but to tell me, if I don’t come home now and talk to him, then I will never see him or my son again. I agreed to talk to him in a public place.
He apologized, said that he put a tracker in the car the week I was away in Cape Town, because he knew I was up to something. He said that he does not understand why he has become so obsessed with me, he promised that this is the end. He promised that he will move on, he said that he started dating his mistress, that he owes it to himself to see if it can work, otherwise his failed marriage would have been for nothing. He promised to have the tracker removed. Whether he was remorseful and sorry, I don’t know. I have learned not to trust what he says, he has put on a good show though. Waterworks and everything. He asked me to tell him exactly who I was with and exactly where. I lied, I maintained that I was away for work and left my car at a colleague’s place that lived that side. The only explanation I can come up with as to why I lied, is because I was scared. All I thought was, look how obsessed he already is, imagine what he will do to me if he knew I was meeting someone? In the next few weeks, I try and accommodate his obsessed behavior, by trying to make him understand that we both wanted to separate. He asked if we could date, to see if we could still work it out, and I say maybe in the future. I still wanted to keep him in my son’s life, I grew up with my dad never being there, and I didn’t want that for my son. I didn’t want him to suffer.
The next 2 months is just him sending me messages, about how much he loves me, tells me of dates he goes on. Then he invites me over to his place for a braai, he says it will be good for our son to see us interacting. I decline the offer, but change my mind afterwards, but he has already made other plans. The morning after, he sends me a video he made, pictures of us over the years, and he captions it. “I know we will never be again” He called me immediately after sending the video to explain why he had made, it seems he finally has accepted us moving on separately, what has changed I wonder. Only to find out later that morning that his mistress was at the braai. I wasn’t upset because she was there, I was upset that he introduced my son to her without thinking it through. This sparks a fight, in the parking lot, I get into my car ready to go, he comes after me, pins me down in the driver’s seat, grabs my phone and speeds off with my son in his car. A few minutes later I find him parked at the gym, reading through all my messages. Telling me what a whore I am, reading my messages out loud, how I disgust him, how could he ever have loved me he said. If he knew I would have turned into the whore, I am then he would have had affairs long ago. I say absolutely nothing. I am dead quiet, silenced by fear, the parking area is empty, its Sunday, not a lot of people at the gym. Eventually, I ask for my phone back and my son. I open the back door, but he reversed so quickly that the door hit me and I fell. My son started to cry, he says “look what you made me do?” I get up, but he pushes me back on the ground, a few people were walking to their cars, I am sure they saw what he did, but they mind their own business, he is well known at the gym. After pushing me around a few times I eventually leave, with my son and phone, but he managed to send all my messages and emails to himself.
The next few days I am bombarded with messages from him highlighting things I said and making sure I understand what he thinks of me, asking for explanations, demanding to know:
“How could you want to fuck someone else? How could you do this to me?