Chapter 14 – Deceit After Divorce
I felt like I was doing something wrong. I felt bad for hurting his feelings as he made me feel that I was having an affair.
He said: “look what you are doing and we are not even divorced yet. Disgusting.” He made it clear exactly how he felt about my alleged infidelity. I was scared and anxious, I spoke to my mom and she said I should call the police. I didn’t.
He bombarded me with messages wanting explanations for everything I said to someone else. He highlighted certain parts of my conversations and wanted me to explain. I stopped replying but he kept on calling and kept on messaging.
After a few days he asked if I am OK and if he should bring something for my neck and shoulders, he is sorry he hurt me. But he loves me. I asked him to leave me alone and he replied “Fuck No, you make things difficult and blame me” Huh? What?
He decided to send the guy a message telling him how crazy I am and that my actions are all about trying to make him jealous because I don’t want a divorce.
The guy refused to speak to me and he was ecstatic. He told me “well its clearly for the best, now you know he was never that into you, I did you a favor.”
I was absolutely defeated in every way possible, I thought I am never going to have a normal life, he will never allow me to move forward with anyone else. He will never let go.
I decided to withdraw, I went back in my cocoon and stopped dating all together.
Our court date was set for 7th August 2018.
My mom decided enough is enough and she flew from Cape Town a week earlier to prepare me for this ordeal. She forced me to set boundaries and while I was scared, I went through with it. This angered him.
My mom never knew that he had physically abused me, she only knew about the tracker and his obsession, and she did all this to protect me.
The day arrived and the divorce is finalized, no drama, no resistance. I feel nothing, he said he was sad. He asked if we could have lunch and if I could go with him to view a place he is interested in buying because I should have a say. My son will also live there. I agreed.
The estate agent kept on looking at me and eventually I tell her we are not together.
She says: I know, I am just wondering why you are with him and not his girlfriend.
He has a girlfriend?
She says: He has her on his profile picture on another phone number.
Oh, and I walk out.
He was defeated and literally went pale from during this revelation. It didn’t matter to me but clearly it did to him as he attempted to cover up this surprise. I was astounded that he still attempted to lie about this girlfriend, that he loved me, that everything he did was a mistake.
A mistake? The Divorce is done and now he realises this.
I truly felt sorry for this sobbing mess of a man.